you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize