I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
