Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
