Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize