You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
