On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
