State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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