I love black thongs
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
