there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
