so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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