ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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