YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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