May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
