the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
