I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
