are you so shy because you have an std?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
