Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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