so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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