I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
