Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
