I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
