You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
