Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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