Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Girls should come with a carfax report
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
