I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
