I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
nutella sex= disaster
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
