dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize