if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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