Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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