I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize