matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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