i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize