Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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