I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
