i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
