did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
