WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
