Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
