The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
