That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize