Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize