People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
