the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
