you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
