Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
