i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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