So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
