Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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