So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
