It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
