I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize