I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
