It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
