You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
