I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize