She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
