y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
