seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
