My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Enjoy the penises
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
