some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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