If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
