Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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