eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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